I'm Gonna Pick Up The Pieces
by Ialwaysshipthedoomedones
Summary: .. And build a lego Carla." This will basically be a collection of jokey, non serious one-shots.


_This is written for Millie, Leah, Leonna and Laura and I take absolutely no credit for the idea... _

Carla and Peter were sat in the factory together, a warm smile adorned her face. He held her hand softly in his, stroking her hands with the pads of this thumbs.

Carla hadn't felt this happy in years, knowing she would be laying in his arms at night, and feeling his breath against her neck as she lay next to him, cuddled close to him.

Peter relaxed in the chair and leant back, putting his feet to rest on the desk. Carla laughed at something Michelle said and felt a contented flutter in her heart.

"Eh, pass us that pie would ya love?" Carla asked Michelle, who reached over her desk to retrieve the delicious meaty treat.

Carla sank into the comfort of her leather seat and opened the pork filled pie from the tin foil, ready to enjoy each mouthful of the pie. She thought back with a subtle smile about how she had stolen the pie this morning. It had been on the side in the Rovers and it seemed to call to her. She had overheard Eva telling Stella she had made it and was planning to give it to Nick and Leanne as a peace offering. When everyone walked away Carla shoved it in her bag and ran out of the pub, pretending never to have been there.

She didn't even bother to get a spoon, using her fingers to dig deep into the pie. Suddenly she felt out of breath, and her face became red.

"Are you okay Car love?" Peter asked, suddenly becoming concerned for the love of his life

Carla's face grew redder and redder and smoke came out of her ears. Peter and Michelle soon shared terrified looks and quickly examined the pie.

"CARLA"

She was unable to answer, her throat quickly swelling up. Her body began to grow and grow and grow, ballooning like crazy. Her feet left the floor and she floated up towards the sky, her head banging against the roof of the factory and attracting the attention of everyone in the factory.

"CARLA IT'S MADE OF DYNAMITE!"

But before Carla could answer, the factory was filled with a large explosion, a huge puff of magic smoke filled the air and guts and slime covered Peter, Michelle and all the factory workers.

"BABY" Peter cried, wiping Carla's fingers from off of his jumper and bending down to pick up the rest of her pieces.

"Carla? CARLA?" Michelle picked up Carla's ear, and gently whispered into it "Please don't leave me Carla, look. Look at you. How can I lose you like this, please Carla. Live"

Carla couldn't hear Michelle, she was already dead. Michelle broke down into sobs, trying to avoid standing on any pieces of her best friend's exploded body.

"Why baby?" Peter cried "Why did you have to eat the dynamite pie?" He suddenly remembered where the pie had come from and ran all the way to the rovers, leaving Michelle and the factory workers alone with Carla. Well Carla's body pieces.

"YOU!" Peter's voiced thundered into the pub. "YOU KILLED CARLA!" The sound of gossip soon filled the air as Peter ran over and jumped at Eva "SHE ATE YOUR PIE AND NOW SHE'S DEAD" Eva's eyes widened and everyone gasped "I-I'm sorry!" She whispered, wishing it wasn't Carla that had eaten the pie but Nick and Leanne instead.

Peter ran back to be with the love of his life, tears flooding his eyes, life leaving him as he felt empty and dead inside.

"Right, you lot, sew her back together. Please, fix her" The factory workers tried to protest but Peter was having none of it, and instead he forced them to scoop up Carla's pieces and start fixing them. Peter watched on, his heart breaking. He began singing a song he knew Carla had loved and it seemed so relevant

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a Lego Carla" His heart hurt at the thought and he could hardly sing the words.

Beth wasn't impressed with having to sew Carla back together "Don't see why we have to do his dirty work, I didn't like her any road"

"Shh Beth" Hayley interrupted "Have some respect, Mrs Connor was always good to us"

"Aye, shame the pie weren't so good to her" Beth sniggered.

Eventually they had managed to fix Carla. Her eyes were wonky and her lips were upside down. The only thing they couldn't find was an ear and her hair. Michelle pretended to try and look for the ear but really she had kept it and put it in her pocket so she could always talk to her best friend.

Michelle was really upset that Carla had no hair so when nobody was looking, she crept up behind Fiz and shaved all her hair off "EH WHAT THE 'ELL ARE YA DOING?" shouted an angry, bald Fiz.

"Sorry Fiz, but Carla looks so horrible bald, it's just wrong" Michelle tried to stop her tears as she stuck on Fiz's ginger hair to Carla's bald head.

"There" Peter whispered "Good as new"

He carried her floopy body over to the office chair and sat her down, and he and Michelle never ever left her side again.

The end.


End file.
